so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
