hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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