Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The best revenge is premature balding
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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