Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
