how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
