There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Bang-toberfest begins!!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
