Rock
Scissors
Fuck
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
