They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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