yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
