Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
