You work out of a Hotel?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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