Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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