Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
