We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
