3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
