Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
