come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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