It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I want a musical about memes.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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