Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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