Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
