i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
