Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
