I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
