did you get engaged???
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
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