I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
