fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
