shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
