so that wasnt chicken after all
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
