I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
