Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
