I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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