You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize