This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
