Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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