so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
