dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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