Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
