I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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