Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
