How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
