somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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