can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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