how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize