It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
