He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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