I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
