I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
