it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
this hospital has no fireball
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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