dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
