she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
