I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
