Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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