just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
