she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
