If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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