i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
