I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
