I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
