Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
