I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
