Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You had me at "let me see your balls"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize