I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
